1 I lift up my eyes to the hills.
From where does my help come?
2 My help comes from the Lord,
who made heaven and earth.
3 He will not let your foot be moved;
he who keeps you will not slumber.
4 Behold, he who keeps Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.
5 The Lord is your keeper;
the Lord is your shade on your right hand.
6 The sun shall not strike you by day,
nor the moon by night.
7 The Lord will keep you from all evil;
he will keep your life.
8 The Lord will keep
your going out and your coming in
from this time forth and forevermore.
[Psalm 121]
TODAY IS THE DAY!!!
This past year, I learned that Psalms 120-134 are called “Psalms of Ascent.” When the Israelites would journey to Jerusalem to worship at the temple during Holy days, they would sing these songs. Jerusalem is kind of up on a hill – it’s sometimes referred to as “Mt. Zion” or “The high Holy hill” – stuff like that. No matter where you’re coming from, people usually say that you’re going “up” to Jerusalem. I have been reading and meditating on these Psalms a lot recently as I prepare to leave for my own journey to Jerusalem! Except mine looks like a long flight over the Atlantic Ocean… not a dusty hike through the hills of Judea.
It’s crazy how even just getting to this day – the day I got on the plane – has felt like a long journey. I’m not even in Israel yet, and I already feel like I’ve learned so much. The other day I looked back at my journal from this past fall, and found the entry where I prayed for the first time about my desire to go back to Israel! It was November 5th, 2018, the morning after I attended a Sunday night Gathering service at Hope. When I tell the story of how all of this JUC stuff happened, this is usually where I begin. Here’s a little excerpt of what I wrote:
“Dear Jesus, that Gathering service last night made me cry for so many reasons that I bet I wouldn’t be able to put to words even if I tried. But then he talked about Israel too?? Are you kidding me? It’s such a special place. I crave walking around the desert, spending all of my time thinking about what it means to follow you. I crave ending my days in worship on the Sea of Galilee. I miss being in the place where you once were in human form. Am I crazy for thinking about going to JUC? How incredible would that be?! To study Hebrew and your word in the Holy land – absolutely amazing. Jesus, is this feeling from you?”
When the speaker that night, Tim Brown, started reciting the story of Elijah and Elisha I had goosebumps all over my body. The mention of places like the Jordan River and Mt. Carmel made my heart feel like it was going to leap out of my chest. Then later in the sermon when he actually said the word Israel, tears poured out of my eyes almost immediately. Honestly, it was super weird. Nothing about his sermon was sad, but I was completely overwhelmed by a feeling that I needed to go back.
A couple months passed – I spent most of my time talking about Israel, JUC, and all of the things I had learned on my previous trip. I remember the conversations I had with my parents that slowly progressed from “Wouldn’t this be cool???” to “Guys, I’m serious – I think I NEED to do this.” Then on April first, I got an acceptance email from JUC, and graduated from Hope about a month later. My parents were on board, by the grace of God, and it was official!
All of a sudden, around the beginning of June, the reality of what I had committed to hit me hard. I started questioning my decision to do this – to go to the other side of the world for 3 month, without anyone else that I knew, not really knowing what would happen after. I cried a lot whenever I prayed about it. Full of fear of the unknown, I was doubting that He would provide for me. I was scared that I’d lose friendships, feel lonely, and come out on the other side of it all more lost than I was before I had a “next step” after graduating. I started asking God “Why do you want me to do this?” totally forgetting that a couple months before, I was praying almost every day asking Him to let me go back.
I guess that’s just how we are sometimes! We’re very forgetful people. The Israelites in the Wilderness asked God to let them go back to slavery in Egypt after they had pled with Him to set them free. I feel a lot like them right now. It’s amazing how patient God’s love is, though. He’s not annoyed with me for being scared, and I feel so much closer to Him after a summer of praying some really raw, tearful prayers. I haven’t even gotten to Israel yet, and this whole process has already taught me more about who God is. How amazing is that?? I’m writing this on the airplane from Detroit to New York City, and praying that He’ll fill my heart so full with gratitude that there’s no more room for fear.
So these are my prayer requests:
- continued safety in travel
- prayers for my sweet momma’s nerves about sending me off
- gratitude and thankfulness
- a heightened awareness of God’s presence with me
- good friendships at JUC
- no more fear!!!
My “ascent” to Jerusalem has had plenty of peaks and valleys. Right now, I’m just excited to be there and see what He has in store! Stay tuned for more stories of God’s faithfulness, and hopefully some cool pics too.
Shalom!!
Hannah Marie at JUC 